Don't Drink the Kool-Aid...Turn It In For Living Water

2 Timothy 2:16

Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.

Purge my heart of the things that break yours

Isaiah 5:6

"Woe to me!" For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.

Cleanse my tongue oh God with burning coal.

Matthew 7:1-2

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

Free my speech from the judgements bestowed upon myself

Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Lord I don't want to drink the Kool-Aid.... Sustain me with your living water!!!

A Jounrey Through the Valley

PSALMS 23:4

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Whenever I find myself struggling with a situation I always seem to find some solace in the 23rd Psalm. Verse four is particularly comforting to me. The other day I was reading through this passage and began to wonder about the phrase " Your rod and staff, they comfort me". Now I don't know about you, but the idea of an intangible rod (stick) and staff (again a stick) does not seem to be of much comfort to me. So why is it that I find comfort in this verse?

In doing some research I found that while I originally viewed the rod and staff as large wooden sticks, I could not have been more mistaken. According to Strong's Concordance the word rod referred to in this verse is a "mark of authority" and the translation of staff is "support of every kind".

In learning the meanings behind these words, this verse has taken on a whole new meaning to me. The notion that I find comfort in God and the idea of him being there is no longer the message conveyed when I read this verse. In order to find that comfort the Psalmist talks about something is required on my behalf.

To find the comfort talked about in this verse there must first be an acknowledgement on my behalf that the Lord is with me. Next, I must acknowledge and submit to the authority of the Lord in my life. I can see no other way of finding comfort in authority unless I am fully submitted to it. Lastly, I must embrace the support given by the Lord. Often times we take the support offered to us by the Lord for granted. Whether it be the word, other believers, or a strong prayer ethic, God has supplied us with many levels of support throughout our lives.
While I still love the mental image of myself walking through a dark valley alongside a larger than life God, the uncovered meaning of this verse has opened my eyes to the reality that my relationship with the Lord is such a two way street, and obedience and action on my behalf is vital.

Blessings From Above

A tiny little heartbeat with two tiny kicking feet, my world has been rearranged. Two tiny little arms with hands lifted high, my world will never be the same.

May this little life praise you from the womb, may their heart be transformed even now.

Overwhelmed by your blessings I sit speechless in my home. Lord you have given me more than I can even know.

May I honor you with this gift you have given. May your heart be shown in my every move. God give me the abilityto impact a generation, a generation that is growing within my womb.

$$$$$$$$$ Questions......

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.......

I am simply using this blog as a sounding board for the insane (or maybe sane) thoughts running through my brain at this time in my life. I want to start by saying I am so very grateful for all of the blessings God has given to my husband and I. I know we are truly blessed beyond measure. I don't want anyone to think I am anti- wealth or anti-possessions.

This morning I was reading the word and I was reading in the book of Philippians. I have been challenged beyond measure while being exposed to the raw emotion and devotion pouring from the heart of Paul to the Philippian church. It was toward the end of my reading I came across the verse in chapter 4 verse 19. I have heard this verse my whole life. Most of the time when the verse is presented it is done so in the context of an offering message. This message has always been conveyed to me in a way as a promise that "if I give I will never need". However, I noticed something else about this verse for the first time in my life. If you go back to verse 12 in the same chapter I see something that blows that ideal of never needing out of the water.

Philippians 4:12... I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

When Paul is talking about God supplying the needs of His people according to His glory in Christ Jesus, this can't mean earthly possessions or carnal needs. I heard someone tell me once verse 19 applied to food and shelter....this is what God promised......If this is the case then why has Paul learned to be content through hunger and want?

My question then is this? Why is it then that as the church in America we believe we are entitled to riches, excess, and even are carnal needs being met? In Philippians I see a devoted desperately in love apostle of God speaking of his times of greatest need, and his ability to be content within them. Paul NEEDED.....Paul was HUNGRY.....Paul was content during these time.....DO I THINK I AM ENTITLED TO MORE THAN PAUL????????????????

This morning I have been challenged in a GREAT way!!!! I desire to seek the riches of God according to the His glory in Christ, because in this context I believe they hold the answers to being content even in my hour of need!!!!!!

REMEMBER

Remember when I was so lost in You and all I could see was your love?
Remember when I couldn't view my own ways; your ways were all I desired to know?

Love.......Obsession......Peace.....

Remember when I was beautiful just the way You created me?
Remember when i would flow in the gifts You had given me?

Freedom.......Grace......Submission.....

I know I can do better.
I know I could do so much more.

Quotas.......Oppression......Hindrances.....

I will change myself to be more like you!
I will, I can, I must!

Bitterness........Anger......Callousness.....

I am so lost, and have such a lack of love!
All I see are my ways; I desire that which I don't have.

!@#$%^&%#@!#%

I am so ugly within
I am dried and am withering away!

*You whisper* *REMEMBER*

MAY I NEVER FORGET! MAY I NEVER DEPEND UPON MYSELF.....YOU AND YOU ALONE SUSTAIN...YOU ARE ALL SUFFICIENT....YOU HAVE FORGIVEN ME, AND SIMPLY ASK ME TO COME AND BE WHAT YOU HAVE CREATED...I LOOK LIKE NO OTHER, I AM NO OTHER, I AM ORIGINALLY YOURS AND YOURS ALONE!

...

Woe is me; oh my heart has such disdain. My natural self cries out in anger and wrath.

You have defined who I am , yet I run ramped down the boulevard of self.

Father my souls bleed, my legs shake, but not due to being awestruck by your presence; but rather due to my rebellious marathons.

Father bring me back to a place where I put my struggles in your hands.

Lord bring me back to a time where I did not horde my anger.

I have become jealous over my flesh, unintentionally handing it to the destroyer of souls.

The greed of self stains my hands red like clay from the earth.

Wash me Father, wash my hands, nurture my bleeding feet.

Father I have run a race headed towards disaster.

Place me on the grass leading towards life.

Point me towards your bosom and hold me near your heart.

May I once again sustain my life from your breath, from your blood, from your flesh?

May your precious name ring sweet in my ringing ears, may it drown out the sounds of my own screams?

Take my anger Father, I am angry, I am angry, I am hurt, I am confused...You know.....You can have it.

From a Selfish Heart

Dear God,

This is a letter from a selfish heart.
Father I am broken before you as I am wrapped in m y 10x10 box administratively perfect with its florescent glow.
My soul creams for the streets below, my eyes fill with tears for those who are so needy.
You created me, so you know me best. Lord I am not a patient person, I am not one to wait on things to change; God I so desire passion here and now.
I hear from pulpits and books saying make the most out of the now. Lord the now is so draining and seems to lack such purpose.

God break me of what a life of purpose looks like in my mind. Lord I have lived a life full of dreams and aspirations, but now I feel those dreams pulling me into a dark place.
God may the reality of your purpose take center stage in my starlit thoughts. May I embrace You wherever You are in the here and now. You are my purpose oh God, You are my passion.Lord may I remember little hands that work hours on end and still manage to overflow with your passion.

God forgive my selfish heart. Lord may I remember it is never where I am that sustains me, but God it is who YOU are. You are MY GOD, You are ALMIGHTY, You are PASSION.... All of these things need not be found in menial tasks that validate my life, but by your presence that dwells within me. Change me OH God; envelop my inner being so that I may seek passion from within and not outward.

A Prayer

To express in clear understanding the mourning my heart feels is like asking me to jump the cliffs on the highest peak of your great creation. My life so small and so delicate, reflects not what the wishing well of my mind once envisioned. Oh Father I am so broken. My heart pours with sadness and great distain, Lord may bitterness flee at the site of your protecting grace.
I desire to hand you all that is broken. Father may you make much of what little I have. God my road map has been burnt; my desires have been shattered like a crystal vase falling from its mantel.
I know you restore, I know you love, may I never become numb to these truths. The novocain of this life strives to hide all the gifts placed within me, rob me of what is yours. Reality is so dry right now, a Sahara of confusion and emotional pains.
I can no longer try to figure this out, I don’t know the answers. God I asked months ago to be moved and brought closer to you. Father if pain and confusion are the tools in which you use, I am yours. I surrender all ambition; I surrender all my preconceived notions. Lord I am at a loss; I am a tender open and bleeding heart. Heal, mend, bring me peace, the peace that only comes with your presence.

In My Quiet Time

What does it take to overflow with your love
What verse can I read, what action can I take
Give me direction, point me your way.

be still

Father I’m here on my face.
I’ve danced the dance.
Lord I’m singing a new song.
I’m tired of complacency I want you to move me

be still


I’m hearing the Nations
I’m seeing the Children, the wives without a home
I’m feeling the earth groan beneath me
FATHER GIVE ME MY PURPOSE

be still

I don’t understand, I’m perplexed and broken
Father I can ask no more
Lord where are you, what are you saying


be still

My legs can no longer walk in these circles
No longer can they dance these worship dances
My spirit and pride are now broken
Is this what you desire
Is this what You so please
I am useless I can no longer move….I am just here

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD

Being Obedient in Not Knowing

Steady and strong, maintain the course. Never veer my child, never leave my path. The light is dim, but the destination is so bright. I wrap myself throughout your soul, an ever guiding pull.

Feel Me…Feel My Pull Beloved!

Obedience is what I am asking, Obedience, an outward expression of a Holy Love. Be submerged in all I have for you, release what you hold in your hands so small…Open your Mind, Spirit, and Body to receive all I have for you.

I am so confused Father, Peace has left and all I feel is burning, and confusion. I desire Obedience, but lack release. I desire abandonment, yet wrestle control. Freedom is an act I read of in fairy tales, man made visions that blur my perception of a reality with you.

Abandonment my child, dance with me in the wind, feel me in the heat of the sun. Freedom is nothing you obtain, but a gift so openly given. Stretch out your hands! Chains of control crumble and fall as ashes at your feet. When presented with my love, nothing unclean is able to stand! My glory is sufficient!

Surrender I give to the best of my ability, the smallness of all I have to offer I lay in a small heap at your feet. I surrender, to what I know not. I give all I can to a destiny you are painting day by day with heavenly brushstrokes on my heart!

See that what you give is so much more in my eyes than what you perceive it to be. You are blessing in my eyes, and Love is imprinted on the heart I created to beat! You are beauty; you are love, and your path will be revealed as you grow! Steadfast and strong all will be revealed in divine time!

Love and Honesty and Honestly Loving

One of the funniest quotes I think I have ever heard someone say is "I love them, but I'm just being honest". Generally this statement is followed by some terrible comment made about the person that is "loved". I know I'm guilty of this oximoron. It seems like it's so easy to be "honest" about someone when it comes to speaking with others, but when honesty is truly needed, it's absence is felt.
Over the past week God has really been opening my eyes to the things I say, and the motives, and reasons behind them being said. While life is amazing, and the world is a beautiful place, it seems as though my tounge has a way of finding everything that is unholy and ugly in the world. Sometimes I find myself justifying these words under the label of "honesty".
So where is the line between love and honesty and honestly loving? I find that when I don't merge the two there is always room for error. It seems like I want to blanket honest under a self serving self gratifying love.
Why do I say the things I say? Are the things I say a reflection of the love and honesty that has been shown to me? I mean, after all aren't I supposed to be a a direct reflection of the love and honesty that has been given to me.
Don't misundertsand me honesty is something that is greatly needed. Something that needs to used to it's fullest potential. I want to be honest about injustices, about my Lord and Savior, about my struggles and pains; and I want to love those who are on the journey along side of me. I want to honestly love them.
Jesus's life is an amazing example of the perfect mix between love and honesty. He was gritty, he was reveloutionary, he was down to earth, and he was madly in love with his Father, and He is madly and honestly in love with us!

Always Something on My Mind

Hello....And thank you for checking out my blog! I am learning slowly but surely that blogging is an amazing way to share what's on one's heart and mind. I will say a couple of my friends have inspired me to start my own blog, and I always have something on my heart and mind! I'm very excited about this blog, more so to hear from different people in relation to well....everything!

I truly believe life is an amazing beautiful journey, and when we open our eyes to the beauty another may see it enhances our outlook on life. I believe our creator gave us an amazing gift if being able to cherish his creation, and all that is within it. You know those people who always say "well look at the bright side"? I truly believe to do that is a God given gift!

So again I am so excited, and can't wait to enhance my outlook on the beauty of this thing called life with you!